I’m a Shakespeare fan. No, not of the stiff over-serious actors that play as if farting is life-and-death serious. I’m talking the modern stuff that makes Richard III a corporate raider or DiCaprio as Romeo whipping out his sword (brand name “Sword” engraved on his modern gun). What would it be like in real life, as in all those plays, if a ghost actually visits? We are talking like when Mel Gibson’s Hamlet freaks out at the ghost of his father! Well, I had a visit from my own father’s ghost on the day he died, passed away these long 15 years since.

American culture is obsessed with ghosts. Turn on the TV and you can watch back-to-back shows of ghost hunters that talk with the paranormal on command, measure their presence, and goad them to move objects or talk. At the movies, ghosts abound in horror movies, bent on killing their living counterparts. And while there are debunkers out there to disprove any existence of returns from beyond the grave, over 45% believe in ghosts, 77% in angels. Until recently, more people believed in the paranormal than global warming. We look for the paranormal.

I had not thought of my father’s death for almost a decade. Then on the 15th anniversary of his death at about the time he died, thoughts of him suddenly filled my head. No flashbacks of Dad putting me on a pony as a kid or spanking me for breaking a window or even me holding his frail hands as he told me he was going to die soon. But somehow, I felt his personality – a distinct presence – “him”. At his funeral all those years ago and seeing his things the way he left them with the expectation of returning, I sensed that he was not there. I didn’t really believe in spirits then, but I definitely felt he was not around anymore. Where? Who knows, but not at the house, the funeral or the gravesite. And now – today – he found his way to my location and is like silently expecting coffee or something. Hamlet’s father talked to him and at least moaned what he wanted.

But my father’s visit seems to be out of place. While he was “away”, the world changed and Dad’s ghost is not in step with things. Today’s ghosts seem angry and with no direction for their anger. The reality shows depict them as entities that have gone from vaguely haunting a location to active residents with addresses and attitude. Any number of ghosts is regularly filmed for TV while I have to photo bomb a TV crew somewhere to be seen! Each spirit seems really ticked off and not afraid to punch, shove, and utter guttural words in the voice meter to “go away”. If I were to pit any ghost from the reality shows with “Gozer the Gozerian” from “Ghost Busters”, I bet Gozer would run for the hills. Our apparitions seem like, as they maybe always have been, extensions of our culture. In today’s world of overthrown governments in The Arab World, terrorists attacking markets and runner marathons, poisoned letters sent to public figures, and cultural beliefs being up-ended by social media  or redefined, is our unrest and anxiety being displaced on our unseen brethren?

In earlier times, spirits seemed to be more like guides to our conscience. Movies like “Ghost” and “Always” showed the disembodied returning for a purpose to help their loved ones. Now movies like “Paranormal Activity” are about unseen malicious demons picking off family members with no defense. In Dicken’s time, his ghosts made appearances as the teachers of moral values and a testament for social justice. Even the angry ghosts of Shakespeare (and Shakespeare knew how to portray angry) may have wanted revenge, but it was really a plea for justice and wrongs to be righted. What ever happened to Casper the Friendly Ghost?

Within our rational world where technology increasingly dominates art and even religion, we look for and debate about what is essentially a spiritual topic. Even the paranormal debunkers have to buy into the activity enough to accept its concept as the basis for debunking it. At the heart of our lives, our technology and interactions in an increasingly connected world are assaulting us. The violent turmoil of cultures and peoples are often now a reaction to merging with the world culture and deciding what to keep as cultural and personal identity. People seem to be looking to beliefs in the paranormal more for reassurance and a touchstone to what came before. Believing in ghosts gives us something to believe in.

And what if spirits really do exist? Maybe looking for them opens our senses and minds to them. As kids when the Boogie Man scared us in the middle of the night it was wonderful when a parent or grandparent came to comfort us. What if they still live just “on the other side” and can come back to be with us, comfort us? It’s such a nice thought that I do not blame people if they sign up twice for believing in ghosts. Isn’t one of the beliefs in many religious faiths that someday we will see loved ones again? Increasingly, I’m among those willing to take a few things on faith.

Dad’s gift, whether it is really my dad’s spirit visiting me or just my yearning for him, is that he is still with me and a part of me. Maybe he was always there and has come home because I have. In the years since his death my life has gone through turmoil. Maybe like many parents must do, Dad left me alone to find my own way and make my own mistakes out from under his shadow. Before he died we both didn’t exactly see eye to eye. Now, maybe we have both mellowed with time and he has decided to talk again. Like the song, “The Living Years”, at some point we might catch the spirit of those we love, not just remember them but make them a part of us. If we are ready to listen for them.

Some people talk to and call on their ancestors to help them. After all, the living are the entire point and often a witness for ancestors ever existing. We remember them and maybe carry their beliefs, their humor, mannerisms, and even part of their personalities with us. We in turn give some of their essence to our kids. As spirits or memories, family and friends do live on through those who cherish them. And some days, it feels like more than memories survive.

Thanks for dropping by, Dad. I’ve missed you.

~Mason